Gavin and I were in the check out line at Target one chilly evening recently, when Gavin spied this gem on the magazine rack. I caught him staring at it for the longest moment, the wheels in his head were cranking away. The headline "Married to a Crazy Man" is what caught his attention. Finally he turned to me with tears in his eyes and said:
"Dad, why did that girl marry a crazy man?"
"I suppose they love each other Gav," I replied.
He thought for another minute, then said "That's going to be a very hard life for her. He does look crazy."

I honestly don't know who the two celebrities are on the cover of that magazine, or what made them famous. Nonetheless, they should know that there is a second-grader with an absolute heart of gold in North Carolina who's pulling for them.

Thank God all of that awful college football is over. It was really stressing out the kindergartener in this house. Garrett is of a peaceful, non-warring species, like his mother. To see two teams clashing violently on the gridiron was really giving him some serious anxiety. He's an odd little bird. He's always loved wrestling and playing "tackle daddy" in the backyard, but seeing the real thing on tv is different, I guess. It's just too much conflict and barbarity for him to take in.

These three boys are no stranger to the fine art of tackling, let me tell you. When we play football together - it's usually Bodie and me against the two bigger boys - and it gets pretty rough. When I get the ball, Gavin and Garrett each grab a leg to try to take me down, then Bodie (my faithful teammate) punches me in the pills then jumps on my head as I double over in pain. It's a lot of fun.

I noticed Garrett's football angst earlier this year when we were watching the Cornhusker vs. Wisconsin Badger game. He was sitting on the couch with a look of serious discomfort on his face, a look similar to a squeamish person watching a live surgery. I asked him what was wrong, he said simply "I don't like all that tackling the Huskers are doing." I told him it's just part of the game, it's fun for them - just like when we play in the backyard. "They don't look like they're having fun at all," he replied solemnly.

We watched on for awhile and I tried to acquaint him with the more refined intricacies of the game: the passing, kicking, strategy, the referees (who are on the field, of course, to make sure everyone is having fun and following the rules). He marinated on this new information for awhile, then came out with this bombshell:
"Well dad, I've changed my mind about something. When I grow up I want to be an astronaut and a football player."
I cheered for this loudly and obnoxiously "WOOHOO! That's my BOY!!"
He stops me with sober look and a little 5 year old hand on my knee. "BUT, I'm going to play for the Wisconsin Badgers so I can stop the Huskers from doing all that naughty tackling."
Being a lifelong Cornhusker fan, this is a real kick in the gut. I wept openly, just as loudly and obnoxiously as before, hands over my face. Garrett observed this reaction for a moment, thoughtfully. Then with a hug he added again quietly, "Don't worry dad, I won't be THAT good… only when I play against Gavin. If he is on the other team, I will really tackle him down."

Another 2 teeth have bitten the dust. Gavin had to have his top 2 removed because they weren't coming out fast enough. The one tooth had been wiggly for nearly 3 months, but it just wasn't coming out! The dentist said it could create an infection in the gums so it had to go. Gavin wasn't as sad about these two as he was about the first tooth. I guess since he was reassured that they always grow back bigger and better than ever, it's worth the sacrifice.

The best part about his new grin is the whistling "S" noises he makes now, just like in the Christmas song "Two Front Teeth." Plus - he really learned to whistle! He only has about three notes he can hit with this newly acquired ability, but it's a refreshing addition to the usual hums and buzzes he makes when stimming around the house.

Of course, he would never ask Santa for something like his two front teeth. Who would waste a request on that? He's spent the entire year being good - well, actually just the last couple weeks really bearing down and trying to be good. So he wouldn't squander a Santa wish on something as useless as the front teeth, would he? Of course not. When we took them in to see Santa, Mr. Claus took one look at Gavin and said "I bet you just want to get those 2 front teeth back, don't you?"
Gavin's reply was priceless, "Actually, I know that they will grow back. I need a metal detector so I can find pirate treasure." Well said, my man!