Getting a child with autism ready for a big trip is essential to the trip's success, I think. We haven't ever really tried it yet. We're going to Disney World, and these kids couldn't be more excited. All that Gavin talks about now is Disney World. Every day, he thinks we are going to go there immediately. He understands that we have to take an airplane, but I think he assumes it's just across town. Gavin hasn't been on an plane since he was a baby, so this trip to Disney World will be a huge event in his life. He's never been on a roller coaster, so who knows whats going to happen. There is plenty of fun stuff to do there besides thrill rides, so I know it will be a great time even if the big rides are too scary.
The things I worry about with him are the loud noises and lack of room to move. Gavin is tirelessly energetic, and requires an outlet for that energy, especially when over stimulated. He likes to just hop and skip around when he's excited, and there's not a lot of room for that type of activity on a jet. We do regularly make trips to Raleigh and Greensboro to see family,which are 2 and 3 hour jaunts, but he's used to that routine. He knows what to expect: chicken nuggets at the halfway point and hugs and kisses when we get there. This is a totally new endeavor. We are talking long lines at security, possible delays, and a very loud take off. Not to mention the painful eardrum pressurization upon take off! How do you prepare a kid for that? If you've got a child with autism, you probably understand the apprehension we feel. Chernobyl type nuclear meltdowns are not a fun start to a vacation. Hopefully we can avoid that!
To prepare Gavin, YouTube has been a huge help. We've been watching videos of airplanes taking off, landing, the safety instructional performance and just views of the interior of 747's. He knows its going to be loud. I crank the volume on these videos for him. I'm thinking of getting him some headphones to wear so he can listen to his favorites (Blues Traveler or the Cure) on the way down. He loves music in the car, and I've tried those little earbuds that came with my iPod on him but he won't keep them in very long. Or if they fall out in the middle of his favorite song - not good. High meltdown potential. There are also a lot of great videos of roller coasters on YouTube, filmed from the rider's perspective. Gavin's eyes get really big when he watches those. I'm not sure if he's going to like it or not. He loves going down the big huge slides at Monkey Joes by himself, so maybe he can handle some of these. We will start slow, at the Tea Cups maybe, and gradually work our way up to Space Mountain and beyond.
Through her friends on the autism parenting discussion boards, Sara has found out that we can get a special pass for Gavin when we get to Disney World. It will allow him to skip the lines and just get right on the rides (with me, of course). That will be extra nice. Waiting in a line for 30 minutes is just not an option for a child with autism. I'm not sure if we need to take a note from his doctor or how it works, but that is the only way we'd be able to do a trip to Disney. I can get him to wait for some things, like an eggo waffle in the toaster, for example. I just tell him to count to 20 or 40 or 100, however long I think it'll take to cook. He quits his bellyaching and starts carefully counting. Standing in a line at Disney, he would have to count to about 6500. We've never ventured much past 1000, and that old trick would wear out quickly.
Yes, the waiting is the hardest part. Especially the waiting for the day we actually get on the plane and go! When we first told Gavin about the trip, he woke up the next morning and said "Now, Disneyworld. Yay!" We decided to print out a simple calendar with just the days left on it until the trip, with a little picture of an airplane on the last day. Every day he marks off a day with an X and counts the remaining boxes. Its pretty funny, on any day since we've started doing the calendar countdown, you can ask him how many days left until "Airplane to Disneyworld" and he can tell you. He thinks about it constantly! This is actually a great way to make him aware of the concept of time. This is going to be a huge experience for all of us. I'm sure I'll have plenty of topics to write about when we get back!
We are going to have our third (and final) child in August, and I've been wondering about the concept of having some sort of pre baby party. Not necessarily another baby shower, but just a celebration of these awesome blessings we've had in our kids. And to celebrate the end of a long road of pregnancy for Sara! She's tired of being "with child". I think a third baby shower might be fun! Since Gavin is really only starting to grasp the fact that there is a baby in mama's tummy, having a "New Baby Brother Party" would serve to magnify the significance of mama's big tummy to him.
We never actually had a second baby shower before Garrett was born. I never even thought of it, actually. We were pretty much consumed by dealing with and healing Gavin's autism. Maybe we would have done another baby shower for a girl, but Garrett was quite obviously a boy in Sara's fifth month ultrasound. We knew he would have plenty of hand me downs from his big brother! Naturally, he was showered anyway by his adoring aunts and grandparents with new unique gifts just for him. It just makes me wonder, do people commonly have a baby shower for their second or third baby? I have no idea on the rules of etiquette for this. It could be construed as a little greedy on the parents' part. I don't know. I bet I would have liked to have a second baby shower if we knew we were going to have a girl, the more I think about it. You know, for the dresses and stuff like that. Otherwise, she would have probably been a pretty little tomboy with 2 older brothers and very few dresses. I'd just make her a couple "I am not a boy" onesies and be done with it.
For the parents who take the bold step and plan it, what should the wording for a second baby shower invitation be? "Oops I Did It Again" would be cute, though somewhat apologetic. You wouldn't want to seem sheepish about having another baby. You wouldn't want to look too greedy either, so maybe saying "No presents, only your presence" would be good. If you're having a hard time deciding on a name, maybe it could be a baby naming party! I can think of a bunch of fun games to help conjure up baby name ideas. Of course, some years down the road you'd have to face the fact that "Son, your name was drawn from a hat."
These second showers should probably be just a happy welcoming of new life, not a harvesting of baby gifts. It should be a celebration that brings women (and sometimes even men) together in a show of love and support for the mother and baby. Showering the expectant mother with pre-cooked meals, gift certificates for cleaning, or home made babysitting vouchures would be sweet. The important thing to remember is that the mom needs the love and support of her family and friends.
In our case, however, we've got a great circle of family and friends that keep us showered in help and support. We wouldn't feel right about doing another baby shower. I just can't see it. We've already got the name picked out (to be released at a later date) so a naming party wouldn't do much good. I'll just have to invent a new type of baby shower: the Baby Kegger! I'll have all my buddies from work over to the house, get a keg of brew, smoke some cigars, and play fun baby games like Texas Hold 'Em or Five Card Draw!
Now, how should the invitation read? "Come drink beer for the baby!" or "There's a bun in the oven, let's drink beer!" I guess I'd better get Sara's opinion on this... or not.
This year's Easter Egg hunt was the first one Garrett actually participated in with enthusiasm and zeal. Last year, at 11 months old (upper photo) he was content to crawl to the first egg he saw and park there with it. Finding no great tastiness in its plastic yellow shell, I'm sure he was wondering what the big fuss was all about. Garrett was a great little crawler. I think he was even maybe an early crawler? I'm not sure, I'd have to ask Sara. What I do remember most was his crazy method of crab crawling on the grass, because he hated the feel of it. Garrett would get up on his handsand feet, sort of tip toe crawling around the lawn. It was so cute - and hilarious. We could probably send it in to America's Funniest Videos and win a prize. I need to learn how to post videos on this blog on my own instead of begging for my wife's help. I'm a carpenter, for Pete's sake. Not a webmaster! Anyway, Garrett didn't get it. Easter Egg, schmeester egg, he's saying.
Gavin was lovin' it though. He knew then and now it is what's on the inside that counts. You've gotta crack it open to find the good stuff! If you can't open it, bring it to dad. I'm more than willing to help for a small tasty fee. These types of events just get more fun each year, I think. As the kids get older, the magic of these events becomes more apparent to them and the anticipation is almost more than they can handle. Last friday night before we went to the church's Easter Egg hunt, Gavin was so excited he barely slept at all. Consequently, that Egg Hunt was fairly overwhelming for him. He got a few eggs, but mostly gazed in awe at the tornado of toddlers around him. Garrett remained focused, capturing eggs and insisting on inspecting the contents each time before plunking it in the basket.
Luckily enough for these kids, we did a smaller, exclusive egg hunt on Sunday. In more familiar territory (the back yard) they were both more in tune with the task at hand. With minimal prompting, both these kids filled their baskets in no time. Next year will be even more fun for me since I'll need to come up with more clever hiding places...
My son is a model in a calendar! He's Mr. October! Sara entered him (Gavin 4yrs) into a contest for the National Autism Association annual calendar and he was picked! I just thought I'd use this little platform to brag a bit. We always knew he was a handsome devil, but wow. And now he's also on their advertisement for the big spring sale email. We had no idea they did that until it just popped in the inbox and whoot, there he is! The picture they used was one from 2 years ago when he was two.
I need to get more shots of him modeling our baby and toddler clothes before age starts taking its toll, right? He likes his black "Future Mac User" shirt quite a bit, so maybe I'll put that on him for the big Easter Egg hunt at the church today. Or maybe it should be the "Junk in the Trunk" shirt? That one probably wouldn't go over well with the older patrons. Well, they probably wouldn't get it, especially since Gavin has zero junk in the trunk. He doesn't have one yet, but I could make him one that says "You're Old" just for fun today. That would be a hoot.
We are planning on expanding our line of designs to more older kid stuff someday anyway. With one more baby on the way, our progression of in house models will grow concurrent with Sara's website. Of course, we welcome any of our customers photos to be entered into the modeling contest. Your baby could win a free Snugfit™ and gain the distinct celebrity of regularly appearing on our website! Check out the home page for more info.
Gavin was embarrassed today! For the first time ever, I saw Gavin get red in the face and look very self conscious. He's nearly four (next week!) and he has Autism, so it is kind of a big deal to me. I feel like he's really healing when he shows tangible signs of a unique personality like that.
Here is what happened: We were at Fit for Fun, a cool little place downtown for toddlers and babies to hang out and play together. It's a great place. It's kind of a Saturday morning tradition for me and the boys to head downtown for a playdate at either Fit for Fun or Monkey Joe's. We were eating snacks at a toddler sized table and polishing our proficiency in barnyard animal sounds. All of a sudden, from behind Gavin came a little lad that recognized Gavin from school. "Hi Gavin!" he exclaimed. Gavin looked at him, completely caught off guard, then looked at me and in the same instant turned beet red. I was completely thunderstruck. Shyness! I couldn't help it, I just started roaring with laughter, elated to see this new show of his true character. I wanted to tell everybody there "HEY EVERYBODY! My son is EMBARRASSED! Can you believe it?" Of course, probably no one there would have grasped the depth of what I had seen, unless they too had a child stricken with Autism.
I don't go around introducing him as "Gavin, with Autism." So, a lot of people we encounter at the park and other places might not even see him as different. Yes, he's got some really odd behaviors, I guess. Maybe people do see him differently? I don't know. At any rate, I was pretty psyched when I saw that flash of individuality in him.