Signing Time came to Gavin's school! Rachel and her daughter Leah of the awesome PBS program Signing Time put on a show for all the kids last week. Their story is pretty amazing and inspiring. You should read about them on her website: SigningTime.com. Sara has been a fan of Rachel's blog since she started it. Now Rachel's made videos to teach babies how to sign. Some babies can start signing as  early as 5 months! Wouldn't it be great if your baby could actually tell you what he wants instead of just crying like every other baby on the planet? Crying is so outdated. It really is. By five months, if he's got adequate control over his hands, he ought to be communicating with them, right?

It was so funny to see Gavin just star struck, sitting in the front row, sheepishly showing off all the signs he's learned from Rachel and Leah. I think he didn't believe that they were really the same people we've been watching on TV for two and a half years. After the show, Gavin was too wonderstruck and bashful to get his picture taken with them. Signing Time has been a big part of his life. We started watching that show when he was about 18 months old and still not talking. He had been diagnosed at around 14 months with PDD/NOS, which is pretty much what they call autism until the kid gets that official diagnosis when he's 2. We found that we could get him to use his hands to signal three of his basic needs, like Drink, Eat and More. Signing Time was just such a great show through that time, and we all love the music. We always liked to watch it after bathtime, before bed. It's one of the rare kid shows that we actually look forward to watching because the songs are beautiful, not cartoony. Both Gavin and Garrett still love it and request it now more than ever, after seeing Rachel and Leah in person. We don't use as many signs anymore, but they both know a bunch when asked. Gavin started talking at about two and a half, and we've obviously been pushing the use of speech pretty hard.

Now that we have Bodie, it'll be fun to see if we can get him to communicate with us earlier in life through signing. We need to re-sharpen our own skills too. We've had all of the PBS episodes saved on the DVR, now we're going to get the baby series from her website and let the learning begin for Bodie. We already know the baby likes Rachel a lot. He was all smiles when she held him after the show. See him below with Rachel and Leah. (Bodie's in his Goo Goo Ga Ga outfit created by my wife, for one of the only modern design baby boutiques on the web: Snugfits, of course! The BabyLegs came from mom4life.com, another terrific momtrepreneur)

Garrett's terrible two-ness has gone off the charts recently, coinciding with the arrival of Bodie. He's always had a little nonconformist attitude, a born maverick. Now he's the epitome of rebellion. Tantrums have become the norm now when things don't work out for him. Its obvious that he's going to have a hard time adjusting to not being the baby anymore. Its hard to see him go through this process, and I'm sure its really hard on him. Being two is an age full of emotional expansion anyway. He was just getting to that point where he is figuring out his own personality: a zany little jester. He loves to be the center of attention and to make people laugh. Bodie has stolen a little slice of that limelight, and its causing Garrett to become an emotional basket case. One minute we're having fun playing "fire truck rescue", the next minute he's stomping around screaming for mama to play too, after he notices she's tending to Bodie.

One good thing is that I don't think he actually resents Bodie or blames him for the shift in family dynamics. He is just as sweet as can be with the baby. When Bodie cries, Garrett pats his head and tries to put the pacifier in for him. Both of his big brothers are really great with Bodie in that sense.

However, Garrett is constantly teetering on the edge of a tantrum nowadays. Even when were alone together, like last night at the store. I was on a mission, as usual. I had a short list and intended to be in and out of there like a Navy Seal, but my cart rider had other intentions. Every time I turned left, he wanted to go right. He had to go down every aisle in the store!  "This way, daddy! THIS WAY!!" He'd point in the opposite direction every time. If I refused to obey, the kid would howl like a werewolf at a full moon. No kidding - it makes the hair on your neck stand up. I would then obediently turn the cart for him. It's like Dr. Phil says, "You need to pick your battles carefully, but win the battles you pick." That's the philosophy I subscribe to. I don't care if people at the store see me being directed around by a half pint of hot sauce, at least I completed the mission! To win that battle, I would have had to abandon the cart and whisk him out of there. 

On the way home, I can't even listen to my talk show on the radio. If he doesn't get the music he likes, its pure tantrum all the way home. "Punk rock music, daddy! Punk rock music right now!" he bawls. Its actually really cute, the way he says "punk wock, wight now!". His taste in music is right on par with his attitude at the moment. Forceful and obnoxious. Gavin likes all genres of music, but Garrett is stuck on one mode for now. So if he's in the car, he gets his way. That's just another battle not worth fighting.

Probably the funniest example of the conflict going on in Garrett's head is at supper time. We sit down and he looks at the food in front of him.
I ask "Are you hungry?"
He quickly replies "NO! I want to eat!"
Okay. "How about some green beans?" I say.
"No green beans. Just Jungle Rapids!" he retorts. Jungle Rapids is the local water park, which is closed for the season. It's his normal outlandish request which he knows I won't fulfill, leading him more quickly into tantrumville.
"Alright. I'll eat the beans then." I say as I poke a bean with my fork.
"No! It's mine!" he yowls as he pokes it with his own fork. He usually begins to eat after that. It happens that way almost every night. I don't know if reverse psychology is a good thing to use with toddlers, but it gets him to eat his supper.

Besides choosing the battles, the only other helpful bit of advice we've found is to just let his tantrums happen, and recognize that its a natural part of being a toddler. Be there for him, hold him if he wants to be held (usually not) and make sure he doesn't hurt himself. That's all you can do. After the tantrum, he's actually in a great mood and very amiable. It kind of goes along with the "How to Share" blog I wrote. Just let him get all that frustration out!

I think this stage will pass. In fact, someday I'll miss this, I bet. These kids grow too fast. I wish every year would last more like five.

Our big, nice climbing tree came down last night in the wind. The boys haven't seen it yet, they're at Grammy and Papa Geno's with Sara. I'm not sure if I should cut it up and take it away before they get back, or should I let it lay there on it's side for the boys to see. It's a Wax Myrtle, which is a very common tree here that grows like a weed. These trees can withstand almost any storm, which is why I was so surprised to see this one laying prone when I let Laya (the cat) out this morning. This one's been through a bunch of hurricanes, but I think my pruning is what did it in. It was already listing heavily to the port side, but then I made it too top heavy in an effort to make the lower branches more climbable for the boys. 

Climbing trees is so much fun when you're a kid. I remember seeing every tree as a new conquest when I was young. I wanted to be  like Tarzan or Mowgli in Jungle Book. Any tree could be a secret hideout. If you could just get up inside the canopy, you could escape the real world for just a little while and have your own piece of the planet. Gavin loved to climb this tree. Actually, he just liked to sit in it, about 3 feet off the ground, and look around  the backyard like the king of the world.

Gavin and Garrett mostly used this tree as a race track or train track, whichever vehicle they were currently employing. The long, low swooping branches made for great take off runways for airplanes, too. These boys could play for an hour straight at the tree, and Sara could see them from the kitchen or back door and hear their happy sounds.

Now I'm forced to make a decision. This tree was a big part of these kids' lives. It's almost like a family pet who has passed away. I think I must cut it up and take it away today. If the boys come home and the tree is laying here like a beached whale, it would be very hard to explain. If they come home and the tree is just gone, it would be traumatic. On the other hand, if they witness their own father lopping it limb by limb with a chainsaw, the trauma might be irreparable. 

I know what I can do, I'll make a game of it. I'll explain that the tree is going to the letter factory. I'll label each limb with a letter on a sticky note, and let the boys decide which one gets cut before I do it. They love to show off their alphabet skills. With luck this power of knowledge game will distract them from what is really happening, and they'll feel positive about this old tree's disappearance. Making a game of almost anything negative can be a real great tool when you're faced with a difficult situation! Spelling and numbers rule these boys' world right now. I'll be numbering or labeling each branch on this tree, then the boys will be so excited about which branch comes down next, they won't even know their beloved tree is being decimated. It will be another happy learning activity! Then we'll go find a suitable replacement.

Disney World was a magical place for this family to visit. It really was extraordinary. These boys were just as high as a kite for the whole week. The plane rides were fantastic! Waiting at the terminal for the gate to open was a bit tumultuous, as is anything to do with waiting for a child with autism and an unruly two year old. It was about 5:45 a.m. at the airport in Raleigh, and these boys were running roughshod over the entire Terminal A. We just pretty much let them go at a full tilt, frenzied pace to release all that excited energy before we got on the plane, and I think it helped. Dirty looks were abundant at our gate. Our fellow travelers didn't realize that the boys' energy would have to be dealt with either in the airport or on the plane, so it was win/win for everybody. We were so worried about what would happen once we were sitting on the plane, and Gavin was just great! He just sat there soaking it all in, wide eyed and intrigued by everything. It was so easy. Garrett was a typical squirmy and restless 2 year old, but he actually did pretty well. Thank God the flight was only about an hour and 20 minutes.

These boys had a blast at the parks. It was so much fun. We did all the rides. Well, Gavin and I did all the rides. Sara has a rather large bun in the oven, and Garrett is too short for a lot of the stuff. The teacups were an immediate favorite for these guys. We must've rode in those teacups 6 or 7 times. I know we did every color of teacup at least once, at Gavin's persistent request. Space Mountain was the first "scary" ride we went on, and Gavin laughed the whole time! It was unbelievable! I had forgotten just how scary it really is, but he loved it. At the end of the ride, however, Gavin had a full fledged meltdown. When you come back out into the light and you have to wait a few seconds before the safety bar releases to let you off, he freaked out big time. He felt trapped in the rocket, I'm sure. When that happens, he's over the edge and off the deep end and there's no explaining to him that we just have to wait a minute. So we left Space Mountain with a bad taste in our mouth, and he didn't really want to do any more rides like that. I felt like a bad dad. The "cast members" there are so great. A girl selling hats and souvenirs saw Gavin crying in Sara's arms and came right over to cheer him up. She just talked to him for a few minutes about all the fun things to do there and gave him some Mickey Mouse stickers. It was really sweet.

Overall, the 2 things that made this trip really easy and less stressful were the stroller and the Guest Assistance pass. Having a stroller was priceless. Well, actually it wasn't priceless it would've been $30 a day, but we brought our own. It's a big blue tandem stroller that we checked on the plane, it counts as one suitcase, and you can take it right to the gate! It was harder than heck to steer through a very crowded Magic Kingdom, but absolutely essential if you plan on staying all day there. The guest assistance pass let us get on all the rides without standing in line for more than 5 minutes, ever. It was really great. We brought a note from Gavin's doctor explaining his difficulties, and we got a little red pass for the whole week. You can use it on any ride. If there was a Fast Pass entrance, it counted as a fast pass. If not, you just go in through the exit door and hop on the next Teacup, Flying Carpet, Dinosaur, Dumbo, Race car, Pirate Ship, etcetera.

Now, at breakfast, Gavin and I watch YouTube videos of the rides we did. He remembers the precise order in which we did each ride, and we watch the videos in that order every morning! We've got some home videos too, but we've been too busy since we got back to even think about looking at them. I'll post something on YouTube if it's worthy.

As the parent of a newborn baby, its natural to feel apprehensive about all the chemicals contained in laundry detergents and stain removers these days. You've got good reason to be worried. Those chemicals can cause bad rashes and skin irritations on your little one's sensitive skin. It seems like every other week there's another warning about the harmful chemicals in baby items. The focus here is on laundry, something I'm terribly familiar with as the mother of two boys, aged 4 and 2. My oldest, Gavin, was diagnosed with Autism at 13 months old. It was a life changing wake up call to my family that we needed to pay better attention to what chemicals surround our children everyday. Some kids' bodies are better than others at flushing out the toxins and chemicals that are presented every day through plastics, detergents, preservatives, artificial coloring, fragrances, etc. We can reduce and eliminate some of these perils cheaply and easily just by doing a little homework.

One thing that a lot of moms don't consider is that nifty little stain remover they just dab on the onesie before a wash. It sure is handy, isn't it? Well, think about it for a minute. If you're taking every precaution with your child's health, e.g. using BPA-free bottles, natural detergent and organic food, why would you put something on your baby clothes that is nothing more than an ultra concentrated form of the same toxins you are trying to avoid? Petroleum-based detergents used in pre-wash stain removers can be acutely harmful to babies. Babies can be afflicted with an allergic reaction of the skin, lungs, sinuses, and eyes. Solvents in some pre-wash stain removers cause brain damage at high doses, and have been linked to infertility and miscarriages.

So, how can you get those stains out without compromising your baby's health? As the owner of Snugfits™, an online baby clothing boutique, and 2 messy little boys (with one on the way!), I live and breathe baby clothes. These 2 rambunctious rough housers love playing in the back yard, which provides me with plenty of practice taking out the grass and mud stains they acquire daily. I've got some solutions for you, none of which require too much elbow grease.

- Always treat the stain as soon as possible. The longer it sits, the harder it is to get out.

- For a fresh stain, run cold water over it and try to work it out right away. Sometimes this is all you need to do.

- For more stubborn stains, soak it in milk overnight, then wash as usual the next day. This works well on a lot of stains including chocolate, ink, and blood.

- For oil/greasy stains, rub corn flour into it and let it pull out the oil for about 20 minutes. It works great. It has been said that you can hasten the process by putting a paper towel over and under the corn floured stain and ironing it. I've never tried that method because I've always believed that heat makes a stain set into the fabric. I never wash stained clothes in hot water, either.

- Really tough stains might need the old fashioned vinegar/baking soda trick. Just make a thick paste in a small bowl out of vinegar and baking soda and work it into the onesie or baby shirt with an old tooth brush.

- Let the baby clothes sit in the (full) washer for an hour or so before running the cycle. Newer washers have an option to let you do this. If you have an older washer, leave the lid open until it's had a good soak. I think this is a good practice on all laundry loads, not just stained baby clothes.

- When I do break down and use a soap on a stain, I use a natural dish liquid. Just rub some of it onto the stain with an old toothbrush and let it soak in the water.

- Don't ever dry the clothes with the stains until the stain has been eliminated. Once it goes through a hot dryer, it may never come out.

- Another good piece of advice for taking care of baby clothes is to add a half cup of white distilled vinegar to each load during the rinse cycle. The clothes come out fresher because the vinegar breaks down the alkaline and soapy residue, allowing them to be rinsed completely.

One final note on keeping baby clothes non-toxic is to consider washing them separately from your own, especially if you work in an industry where your clothes may be contaminated. Chemists, lab techs, mechanics, and painters are all exposed to chemicals that can harm a sensitive baby. Carpenters working with treated (arsenic) wood should be especially cautious about keeping their clothes apart from baby's. Think about the toxins that might be in your clothes and consider washing them in a separate load.

Take care of those baby clothes! You might be using them again (and again!)